Help Eliminate Pretentious Travel Douchebag Syndrome

Posted: January 26, 2013    Categories: Travel

You have probably met them.

They get back from a semester of study abroad or their 2-week vacation in Europe and all they can talk about is where they’ve just been.

Talking about it isn’t so bad, but they somehow manage to drop the fact that they’ve just been abroad into every single conversation.

..and it isn’t just the fact that they constantly mention it, but they also have to repeatedly mention how great it was.

You: This is a good hamburger.

Them: I guess. It isn’t as good as the hamburgers they have in Paris. Those are the best in the world!

You: *Roll your eyes*

They suffer from PTDS (Pretentious Travel Douchebag Syndrome). They just got back and they feel the need tell everyone they meet how much better things are “over there” and somehow bring every conversation around to talking about their recent trip.

For those who suffer from PTDS, it isn’t enough to travel somewhere and have a great time. To them, the experience isn’t complete unless they can rub your nose it in. Then, and only then, will the trip be complete.

This is something I constantly have to worry about. I am a PTDS hypochondriac. Unlike someone who just got back from week long vacation, traveling is all I’ve been doing for the last 6 years. For the better part of a decade, the only thing going on in my life has been travel. I’m pretty sure at several points in the last six years the person I’ve been talking to has found me suffering from PTDS.

Nonetheless, knowing there is a problem is the first step in avoiding it. If you have taken any extended trips or are considering doing so, here are some symptoms to look for to see if you have PTDS.

1) Are you mentioning the recent trip you took even though no one asked you about it?
If people aren’t interested enough to ask you how your trip was, then they certainly aren’t going to want to hear about it unsolicited from you. Last Christmas I was home for Christmas with my family. In the previous year I had been to 18 countries and all 7 continents. All of that travel got me a whopping one question from my entire family. I answered it and kept my mouth shut about it the rest of my time there.

2) Are you trying to one up people with your travel stories?
You are at a party and someone is telling you a story about their trip and you feel the need to them them your story. At a certain level this is fine. It is what travelers do when they drink. However, it is not a contest. Again, this is something I’m sure I’ve been guilty of, but it is also something I consciously try to avoid doing. Everyone’s experiences are amazing in their own context.

3) Are you mentioning how things always better somewhere else?
I went to college in Minnesota. We had a girl in my class who came from New York and couldn’t stop talking about how EVERYTHING was better in New York. The cookies were better in New York. The pizza was better in New York. The water was better in New York. New York is a great city and I love visiting there, but everything isn’t better there. Somethings are and some aren’t. I’ve seen the same thing happen with people who have lived overseas. Suddenly, everything is better “over there”. I’ve been to a lot of places and I know that most things are the same everywhere. Products tend to reach a common level in most countries, especially if they are imported. Saying something is better somewhere else is just end run around a subject so you can talk about your trip.

4) Are you constantly wearing clothing or other items you bought on your trip to show them to people?
Again, nothing wrong with buying stuff when you are on vacation, but you don’t have to be a walking display stand for everything you bought the day you get back. Save them for something special or at least give it a few weeks before you start wearing it. Also, for God’s sake, let people ask you about it. Note: Wearing t-shirts or hats with the name of the place you visited on it is not a symptom of PTDS. That is just plain old douchebaggery. No one pretentious would do that.

Ending PTDS begins with all of us. If you suffer from PTDS, please just shut the hell up. If you have a friend that suffers from it, feel free to tell them to shut the hell up.

If we act, we can end PTDS within our lifetime!

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