Sooooo…..I got married

A lot has happened to me in the last 48 hours. Things which will dramatically effect my future travels, this blog, and the rest of my life.

I got married.

Two days ago I had no idea I’d be writing this. My life has literally been a whirlwind and I haven’t really had time to take a step back and assess everything which has happened.

Two nights ago I went out with several guys to some clubs in a place called Patpong. I had never been to Patpong before, but lets just say it was quite an experience. To make a long story short (involving ping pong balls, chopsticks and darts), I met the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Fast forward eight hours, the two of us were standing before a Bangkok City official performing the Thai rites of marriage, said “sloof lirpa” (Thai for “I do”), and were pronounced man and wife. The best man was a guy named Roy Dewitt from Alabama who happened to be there to get his drivers license.

Her name is Broma.

Since then we have been spending our time together trying to learn each others language and getting to know each other better.

As a married man I can tell you that marriage is all about compromise. There are things about her I wasn’t aware of when we got married:

  • She smokes. (I’m not a big fan of smoking)
  • She snores in her sleep
  • She’s actually a man

I have to confess that the last one really threw me for a loop.

I had my doubts, but I’m a strong believer in the sacrament of marriage and I promised to stick with Broma for better or worse, richer or poorer, male or female.

Trying to make the best of the situation, we will be flying to Sweden next week. I hope to get her a prescription for the nicotine patch to solve issue #1, admitted to a sleep clinic for issue #2, and gender reassignment surgery for issue #3.

Our current plan is to return to the US and settle down in one of the three states which will both allow a marriage like ours to exist and has passed ping pong friendly legislation.

This is a brand new adventure for me and I hope everyone who has followed along with me so far will keep following for the next exciting chapter of my life!

75 Replies to “Sooooo…..I got married”

  1. Since this was my first post I’ve ever read on your website, I wasn’t sure if you were being genuine or not. Then I realized it was April Fools…NICE!

  2. I heard about ” Lady Boys ” in Thailand using the media. I watched recent episodes of the ” Jerry Springer Show ” on television. Not many people can accept the ” Lady Boys ” on Jerry Springer. I am a Mormon that uses instructions from church officials from the headquarters in Salt Lake City, Utah.

  3. Just discovered ur blog and just found this one post. So u got married just bcs a woman was beautiful?? And did it worked out??? congrats ifu are happy

  4. Hey Gary,

    I read this only now (having only just discovered your blog and have to say that I didn’t pay attention to the date of posting and it wasn’t until I saw on the 1 April comments and references to April Fool’s that I realised I’d been had! Definitely the best April Fool’s joke in a while – it would be quite a wedding night if that was when you discovered your “wife” was in fact a man!

    I think your blog and your travels are amazing, like I am sure many others do. I have been to 24 countries in my 26 years of travel and have the travel bug and wish to see many more… It would help if Australia was not so far from everywhere else!

  5. Haha, I can’t believe I am only just reading this. I know I am more than a couple of years late, but that was a great post. I must admit, I was taken in by it until I got near to the end. The comments cleared it up for me. I didn’t think a man so brilliant could do something like this. Great post!

  6. Its July 13th 2012 , I just read this after looking at a video from your youtube channel, I had already book-marked your site then i decided to read about you and i was stun that you could accept such a think- you made it look too easy. i was already getting this homophobic feeling in my tummy when i decided to read the comments and LOW and Behold it was a Joke . I am so happy it was a joke cause i was beginning to like your blog.

    Good one !

  7. I was reading til “She’s actually a man”… and then it’s clicked “Wasn’t it posted on April 1st?” Good one! :)
    Inspired me to do something funny on my blog next year LOL

  8. I stumbled across your site and was reading a few of your articles then saw this article. I read it, and thought WHAT??????? That can’t be right! I even read this story out loud to my gf. Then she said…. “Is that an april fools joke or something??” That’s when I noticed the date you posted this article. YOU GOT ME GOOD!!!

  9. Just stumbledupon your site. Wow I now realize what a true waste SU is……
    Uh Nomadic Chick…. Did you go for the four for the price of two special? You get a set of brass ones to match your ta-tas.

  10. I dont even know you and I was completely enthralled with this blog…..when I got to the end I laughed so frikkin hard!!! Good on ya mate! Most Excellent!!

  11. OMG! You really got me going with that one. I didn’t notice the date. Read the title and then down as far as “Her name is Broma.” Then I thought, “Eight hours? EIGHT HOURS? Gary, have you lost your mind? Is she a Thai hooker? and so on …”: THEN I read some comments … OH … I don’t know whether to laugh at your joke or cry because I was so believing you had gone off the deep end … LOL

  12. Gosh, Gary. If I knew that’s all it took was a guy with hair extensions and some Daisy Dukes, I would gone for the makeover months ago. ;)

  13. ok… this took me 6 hours to figure it out that it was an april fools prank…. read it this morning and had to read it again at night to fully get it. hahaha.. good one.

  14. Oh dear Lord, you actually got me. I went out in the living room to tell everyone Gary got married. To a man. They all looked at me like… :Who’s Gary?” Then I remembered what day it is.
    I hate you!

  15. Hey, good one. Have you met his/her family yet? You’ve just acquired 150 new tax deductions, you know. Seriously, if you’re headed west it means you’ve already been through the Philippines. But if not, drop me an email and I can show you around “Kano to Kano” (Kano = Farang).

  16. I’m giving a travel talk with Spud Hilton tonight in Palo Alto and I saw his comment on Twitter, then clicked over to read your post.
    You had me going at first. Good one, Gary!

  17. Gary, I’m so bereft. You promised to marry my he/she self. And I went to Dr. Donaldson with new ta-tas picked out and everything…. sniff.. I can’t even write any longer… you heartless bastard!! :-D

  18. Wow, that had me…I had to go back and read a couple of times. Then the comments cleared it up…GOOD ONE!

  19. I came THIS close to unsubscribing in disgust that you were another one of those sleaze bags…..then it clicked. Good one!

  20. As soon as I saw the word “married” I thought “Gary??? Break the hearts of so many girls all over the world?? No-effing-way.” But I hope that you and Broma have a nice ‘honeymoon’ anyway.

    This was by far the funniest April Fool’s Day post I’ve seen so far…… :)

  21. The problem with this April Fool’s is that it’s TOO believable.
    Ought to be worried there.

    Nice picture though!

  22. I am so glad I introduced you two and it worked out! I knew that it was a match made in Bangkok from the moment she you saw her and (s)he saw you wallet.

  23. I think the name Broma, which is Spanish for joke, gave it away for me. But then, when you said you married a smoking hot man, I figured, “Well, Gary could do that.”

  24. Lol… If I hadn’t already been on SlashDot looking for April Fool’s jokes… besides, she too pretty to believe that.

    :)

    Very funny anyway. Kudos.

  25. Don’t bother with the trip to Europe; BKK is the gender reassignment capital of the world.

    Congratulations to you and the lucky lady(boy)!

  26. Hehe, pulled out another lurker with this one! Good stuff! You had me going pretty good until the man part!!

  27. Congrats on the wedding to Broma. She seems like a lovely he-she! Hope you enjoy that April Fool’s anniversary for a long time to come! :)

  28. That was awesome enough to get me to delurk. ;) Love the blog. Best joke I’ve seen yet today. Happy April!

  29. This reminds me of the Saturday Night Live spoof “what happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok” ads.

  30. mmh!! april fools!!! hehe nwei congrats ive bin fan of urs on ur fb page and ur twitter we had sam conversations even bfore hehe while ur in thailand and singapore hope u rmmber hehe nweis ders no big deal with wt u did i thnk the hul world is accepting statuses lyk dt now.. i am married too(im real pussy nwei)in a australian and i thnk hvng different culture and laguage(i speak english well i thnk) hehe is gona gv us a very hard tym and problems ol d way… but… as long as u both love and understand each other ur gona live happily ever after!! gudluck gary and broma!! hope u rmmber me nwei hehe hope to heard from u soon hehe muah tkecre guys!!

  31. somewhere in the middle of the article i got the impression that something got terribly wrong.. :-)

    nice post :)

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