My beloved Broma. I took this photo while she was at work.
I got married.
Two days ago I had no idea I’d be writing this. My life has literally been a whirlwind and I haven’t really had time to take a step back and assess everything which has happened.
Two nights ago I went out with several guys to some clubs in a place called Patpong. I had never been to Patpong before, but lets just say it was quite an experience. To make a long story short (involving ping pong balls, chopsticks and darts), I met the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Fast forward eight hours, the two of us were standing before a Bangkok City official performing the Thai rites of marriage, said “sloof lirpa” (Thai for “I do”), and were pronounced man and wife. The best man was a guy named Roy Dewitt from Alabama who happened to be there to get his drivers license.
Her name is Broma.
Since then we have been spending our time together trying to learn each others language and getting to know each other better.
As a married man I can tell you that marriage is all about compromise. There are things about her I wasn’t aware of when we got married:
- She smokes. (I’m not a big fan of smoking)
- She snores in her sleep
- She’s actually a man
I have to confess that the last one really threw me for a loop.
I had my doubts, but I’m a strong believer in the sacrament of marriage and I promised to stick with Broma for better or worse, richer or poorer, male or female.
Trying to make the best of the situation, we will be flying to Sweden next week. I hope to get her a prescription for the nicotine patch to solve issue #1, admitted to a sleep clinic for issue #2, and gender reassignment surgery for issue #3.
Our current plan is to return to the US and settle down in one of the three states which will both allow a marriage like ours to exist and has passed ping pong friendly legislation.
This is a brand new adventure for me and I hope everyone who has followed along with me so far will keep following for the next exciting chapter of my life!
Simple. Brilliant. Awesome!
Did I mention my 12 children?
I may have forgotten to tell you…..Honey!
Damnit…you got me.
Huh?!? At least you could have shared some wedding photos.
Wow, that had me…I had to go back and read a couple of times. Then the comments cleared it up…GOOD ONE!
I came THIS close to unsubscribing in disgust that you were another one of those sleaze bags…..then it clicked. Good one!
As soon as I saw the word “married” I thought “Gary??? Break the hearts of so many girls all over the world?? No-effing-way.” But I hope that you and Broma have a nice ‘honeymoon’ anyway.
This was by far the funniest April Fool’s Day post I’ve seen so far…… :)
I especially like her name “Broma” :)
Best April fool post this year.
Pls continue.
The problem with this April Fool’s is that it’s TOO believable.
Ought to be worried there.
Nice picture though!
ZOMG! This had better be not an april fool’s joke!!
Congrats, man!
That was great! I hope that you told your family before posting this…
Great April Fools Joke!
Hah, hah! “Sloof Lirpa” indeed!
Nicely done.
Roy DeWitt, huh? Not bad. Maybe he’ll publish your story in his magazine.
I am so glad I introduced you two and it worked out! I knew that it was a match made in Bangkok from the moment she you saw her and (s)he saw you wallet.
oh wow… you got me there…
….”was just there to get his driver’s license.”
O_o
Ah! ha! Well then it was bound to… wait a minute….
April Fool!
I think the name Broma, which is Spanish for joke, gave it away for me. But then, when you said you married a smoking hot man, I figured, “Well, Gary could do that.”
Thanks for reminding me that since it’s the 1st of the month I’ve got bills to pay.
Happy April Fool’s Day to You!
Lol… If I hadn’t already been on SlashDot looking for April Fool’s jokes… besides, she too pretty to believe that.
:)
Very funny anyway. Kudos.
Don’t bother with the trip to Europe; BKK is the gender reassignment capital of the world.
Congratulations to you and the lucky lady(boy)!
Hehe, pulled out another lurker with this one! Good stuff! You had me going pretty good until the man part!!
You lurkers need to stop lurking.
Hi Gary,
You chose a very pretty woman for the joke. Thumbs up !
Regards,
B.
Congratulations!
Great one Gary….sure made me stop reading my email!
Best one so far I’ve seen.
Congrats on the wedding to Broma. She seems like a lovely he-she! Hope you enjoy that April Fool’s anniversary for a long time to come! :)
Congratulations! What’s the date today? lol
haha
That was awesome enough to get me to delurk. ;) Love the blog. Best joke I’ve seen yet today. Happy April!
This reminds me of the Saturday Night Live spoof “what happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok” ads.
Happy April Fools! This is hilarious if its true :)
Great story…for April Fools ;-)
mmh!! april fools!!! hehe nwei congrats ive bin fan of urs on ur fb page and ur twitter we had sam conversations even bfore hehe while ur in thailand and singapore hope u rmmber hehe nweis ders no big deal with wt u did i thnk the hul world is accepting statuses lyk dt now.. i am married too(im real pussy nwei)in a australian and i thnk hvng different culture and laguage(i speak english well i thnk) hehe is gona gv us a very hard tym and problems ol d way… but… as long as u both love and understand each other ur gona live happily ever after!! gudluck gary and broma!! hope u rmmber me nwei hehe hope to heard from u soon hehe muah tkecre guys!!
well…congrats and goodluck gary!
is this anoher heppy-april-fools-day joke? :)
Hilarious – nice one:)
If it wasn’t so down right awesome I’d have almost believed you. Alas I’m no fool today :)
Gary! Gary! Ya always gotta look for the adams apple!! :)
Happy April!
Dan
Best April Fool I’ve read in a long time.
Broma have any friends for me?? Disappointed I wasnt there for the ceremony!
Ha! :)
Love his/her name…
I do hope the whole story has something to do with the special day we have today :)
Nice one Gary! :-P
My first thought is are you f**** nuts…..Not like you
Gary. Not even a good joke. Sorry.
lol nice Gary, I almost got fooled :]]
APRIL FOOL ;-)
somewhere in the middle of the article i got the impression that something got terribly wrong.. :-)
nice post :)